I’m having so much trouble focusing, and it’s hard to pinpoint exactly why that is. I’m letting myself become distracted more often than I have been lately.  I’m losing my motivation.  That’s very easy to do in this place, lose motivation.  These surroundings are so soul-crushing.  But I was doing alright before, for a while.  Maybe I got burnt out.

I think I had a specific plan in place for a while, and without one, I can feel myself slipping back into those old, self-destructive procrastination habits.  The best, and only, way to do the thing is to just do the thing.  I need to write.  If this is what I want to do, I have to do it. I need to create. If that’s my direction, I need to move in it. And I need to study. This period of time, I keep telling myself, is a time to study, learn, and practice. I need to put time into studying all of the fields where I feel incompetent and want to progress, learn skills and techniques to improve, and practice them. I can’t get any better if I don’t put in the work.


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